When we came to Bamberg, it was the "perfect time to find an apartment," as college had just let out and students were leaving town. Now, our realtor tells us, it is "the perfect time to re-rent the apartment" as University will be back in session in October. Meaning, we will hopefully not have any trouble getting our deposit back.
When we came to Germany, the exchange rate was very low and dropping every day against the dollar. As soon as we found out we would be leaving, the exchange rate started to climb. At this rate, we'd have had trouble paying our bills in a few months!
Over the months, I've shared ways that God has confirmed that our decision to move to Germany was the right one. Now he is confirming the decision to leave. Should I spend my days looking for fleeces, open doors, signs and wonders, trying to read the stars to discern God's will for my life? No, sometimes simple action is required: God gave you a brain, now use it!
But I am seeing now more than ever how much is outside of my control. We make a decision, and then have to wait on God; a cycle that has been repeated many times in the last two months. My impatient heart longs for Action! Adventure! Doing Something With My Life! But I am blind--was then, am now--and every single step is a prayer for guidance, a prayer that God would light more of my path.
So the door closes on this adventure, and we start over. New plans, new dreams, maybe even new locations. I don't trust God, not yet, not fully; not enough that I can let go of this grasping and impotent need to control. But I pray again and again, like the centurian, "Lord, I believe. Help Thou mine unbelief!"
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